Dateline 1625
Representatives of the twelve great Nations of the eastern seaboard met in conclave today in the wickiups of the Long Island to discuss the most important issues confronting their people, chief among them the existential crisis created by the landings of hundreds of ships with their cargos of unwanted white immigrants.
Immigration is rampant, shouted the Chief of the Iroquois Nation, and these ocean-going caravans must be stopped.
They smell, and do not wash. And their women are ugly as the backside of a moose, shouted the Chief of the Cherokee.
Let’s build a sea-wall! Don’t let the ships land! Send them back, never to return! Pandemonium broke out among the assembled leaders.
The detention centers are full; we are going to have to release them into the general population, where they will take advantage of our social safety nets. We cannot allow this.
But we could use the cheap labor, and give our wives a break from their maize grinding.
