Postmaster
Bethel Post Office
Bethel USA
Dear Sir or Madam,
We have just received a notice from the Bethel Tax Collector informing us that we are delinquent in our quarterly tax payment of $ 4,655.88. We now must pay $153.57 in interest and penalties. Oddly, this mysterious “disappearance” of our tax payment has occurred several times in the past. It should not be possible to “lose” a piece of mail from our mailbox to the Town Hall across the street from the Post Office. And it’s always our town tax payments that get lost! To our minds, these occurrences are no longer accidental.
We have a theory, albeit of the conspiracy theory variety.
We have, over the years, been encouraged by our mail carriers to donate Christmas bonuses for their service, usually in the form of little Christmas cards (unstamped) with their names on them. Why we should have to submit to this “friendly persuasion” is a bit of an insult, but OK, we’ll go along, in the spirit of Christmas. Sometimes $ 50; once $ 100. Now, it appears that we missed last Christmas, costing us $ 153.57 (see above) in delinquent taxes. As they say, just sayin’. We should pay them for doing their jobs?
Here is what we are going to do. We are no longer going to use our mailbox or our own Post Office for ANY outgoing mail. Whatever mail we have will be mailed from another town. Since we cannot control incoming mail, other than to request senders to use alternative delivery services, we will be on our guard for deliveries of government communications (IRS, Social Security, Medicare, etc.); critically important medications; product orders; and so forth. We will use the internet for all important (electronic) transactions, avoiding the United States Post Office altogether. And, rest assured, we will be paying our town taxes in person.
Of course, it would still be nice if you could, somehow, find our check to the Bethel Tax Collector, somewhere.
Cordially, and Merry Christmas,
The Jester
Cc: Tax Collector, Town of Bethel
Cletus P. Lyman, Esq.
